the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
