The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
sick fucks of a feather flock together
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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