How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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