Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
