I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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