I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
