It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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