you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
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This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
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I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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