wake up i wanna do it froggy style
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
