You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
