nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
She just used a chaser for red wine.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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