Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
