I think i peed on brittanys purse
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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