can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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