So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
