i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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