i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
tell your sister to shave her snatch
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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