East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
