Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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