Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
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