He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
