my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
