It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
