my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
