Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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