I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
