No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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