**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
