I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
