if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
