Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
