hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
