there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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