Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
