Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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