No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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