just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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