I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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