awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He did a backflip because drugs
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
