Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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