Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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