I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize