You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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