i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
