So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
