***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
