On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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