Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize