I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I currently don't understand fingers.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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