Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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