You're a womanizer and a bitch.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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