how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
