I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My balls are so social today.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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