first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize