Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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