East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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