Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
