You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
